A surreal, if slightly inappropriate, conversation

Setting: Queen, on homo hill in Itaewon
Cast: Myself, English man in tweed hat, silent, yet grinning Filipino-looking dude

English guy approaches me as I am putting on my jacket, getting ready to leave.

EG: Excuse me, but my friend here (gestering towards grinning Filipino-looking dude) is The Gay.
M: The gay?
EG: No, The Gay. He is The Gay.
FG: (Grins)
M: (Not entirely surprised, considering the setting) Cool.
EG: He says that if you were in prison, he would anally rape you.
M: Excuse me?
EG: He wants to anally rape you. In prison.
M: Uhhhh huh. Well, I'll be careful not to do anything wrong then.
EG: He says that if you were in prison, he would do very bad things to you.
FG: (Grins)
M: He wouldn't ask?
EG: Well, then it wouldn't be anal rape.
M: I guess not....
EG: Thats what he wants you to know.
M: Well, thank you. And I'm glad I'm not in prison.
EG: Yes, but if you ever are...
M: I'll watch out for him.
EG: He is the new face of anal rape.
FG: (Big Grin)
M: Right. (exit)

So that happened....at least someone thinks I'm hot.

And on that note....

Foreigners Who Blog in Korea

Since I am in Korea, and making a half-assed attempt to blog, I thought that I should dedicate my time to discussion of my peers.

There is a wide variety of these blogs, but I, however, as I am apt to do, will use rather large brushes to paint my analysis. So here are my 4 categories of Foreigners Who Blog in Korea (and you have to guess which one I am): The Newbie, The Politico, The Vet, and The Culturally Immersed. (And yes, I am aware that by creating this blog I am falling victim to the "Listing" tendency of blogs, but if you don't like it, go blog yourself, motherblogger).

The Newbie is, by definition, new. Green behind the ears, wet in other places and pretty much wide-eyed about the whole thing. The newbie, whose blog is generally more for the interest of friends and family at home, blogs of new foods (Chicken feet!), funny signs (that usually aren't that funny, just poorly translated), promises to learn the language, and other superficial cultural observations, such as the ubiquitous couple T-shirt. Throw in a few drinking pictures, pictures and stories about students at school, a story about getting lost on the subway, go on about norebangs, and you pretty much have it sewn up.

Not funny:

The Politico is a somewhat rare breed, but unique enough to demand mention. This blogger may also belong to the "Vet" category, but their interest in foreign (and domestic) Korean politics overshadows their postings about visiting the in-laws in Gimhae or Iksan. To be fair, these blogs are a good source for info on local politics that doesn't make it into the tourist friendly English papers, where only the destruction of a national monument can distract from the usual "articles" about the latest Samsung gadget.

The Vet is usually, but not exclusively, a man between 30 and 50, married to a Korean, and has been in the country a long, long time. The Vet ventures to small, idyllic places in the countryside that no foreigner has heard of (because the Koreans don't want us to spoil it) of, loves his mother in law's dokguk, and has way better Korean skills than you or I.

And lastly, the culturally immersed. This blogger may be a Vet, but is generally trying way harder, and thus more likely to be a newbie. They will be photographed in traditional dress at imperial palaces, their weekend agenda consists of a performance of traditional music, followed by a cooking class. They study the language properly (I learned how to ask "do you have a boyfriend?" before I learned "where is the toilet?") and have lots of Korean friends.

There you have it. I hope this has been informative, and not entirely offensive. Actually, I don't hope either of those things. Please direct your generalized comments to the appropriate comment place.

Funny:













I stole those images from facebook. But facebook has your soul.

Remembering Jodhpur

The Blue City of Rajasthan. At first the blue houses were only for the Brahmins; then the lower castes caught on, drawn to the colour's apparent ability to both cool and drive away mosquitoes. Then it became beautiful.



















All photos were taken without leaving the balcony of my hotel room.

Now this some bullshit

Today at work, and on Thursday, as well as Saturday I am required to sit with my Korean co-teacher while we meet with the mothers of our students. I guess this is parent-teacher interviews, but its more like, "Korean teacher-parent-interview-bored-foreigner-not-participating". Its interesting where the mind wanders during these times of enforced boredom...old friends, the past, the future, when to do laundry, which mom is the hottest (Daniel's mom, by far).
This will take up 10 hours of my time this week. At the end of it all, I think I get a free meal. Which I may or may not accept...after all, I see my coworkers more than I see my friends.


P.S. I tried to find an image for this post, but all my google image searching returned were pictures of bored housewives...interesting, but highly inappropriate.

Ouch

I forgot how much teaching little kids hurts my brain (and, indirectly, my feet). This post was more relevant to my life last night, when I actually had a headache and sore feet, but I didn't think to put it into words until now.

In related news, it's Friday. Now here's Mel with the sports....

Frozen in Grand Central Station

My cousin sent this to me. It's pretty awesome. I'm talking about the video, not my cousin, although she's pretty cool as well.

Book Report: In Cold Blood

I never understood all of the cultural references to Breakfast at Tiffany's until I read the book and, like countless readers before me, was seduced by Holly Golightly, even when knowing it would never work out. Subsequently, I watched Capote, then read the "movie-tie in" book, In Cold Blood. Perhaps this is slightly out of order, but maybe I'm a little out of order myself.

Although the book, unlike the movie, removes Capote from the narrative, I couldn't get Philip Seymour Hoffman out of my head when reading it. I would picture his pasty white face and his thin, greasy hair as he read to me. I think Philip Seymour Hoffman is kinda gross. A note-(Oscar, even) worthy actor, but still gross. Readers who have watched Once Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest before reading the book, and are conflicted by descriptions of the brawny red-haired McMurphy and the image of a decidedly non-ginger Jack Nicholson, might understand what I'm getting at. I guess the moral is that the book is always better than the movie, so read that first. Especially if Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the movie.

I suppose the book's primary goals were to both illuminate the senseless, brutal and (if you have read the book) sheer stupidity of the crime, as well as to somewhat humanize the killers. The former, is obviously easy, and was probably Capote's primary goal when he tackled the story. The latter, is more complex. As the book progresses, the closer the men get to death, the more about their lives Capote reveals, and subsequently the closer the reader feels to the characters. I think the reader would naturally feel sorry for Dick and Perry, not because they were going to hang, but because they were losers who were never really given a chance by anyone their entire lives. It is easier to condemn an anonymous man, and Capote erases that anonymity by giving character, familiarity and a great deal of tragedy to the lives of killers Perry Smith and Dick Hickock. Their deaths then demand a consideration of the title. Granted, Perry and Dick killed the Clutters in cold blood, but were Perry and Dick not also executed in cold blood? Perhaps this is what Capote wanted the reader to feel, that all killing, "righteous" or not, is in cold blood.

I could probably go on...I feel the English Lit undergrad in me rousing from a long slumber...perhaps I'll let him out to play a little longer next time.

"All plots tend to move deathwards." -D.D.