Enough to melt all the tigers in the world to butter...

I can hit a 5 iron like a motherfucker

2009-06-04T22:40:00.002-04:00

Toronto is ancient history. Peace out, T-dot. It was interesting. Your public transit system sucks. OISE is finished. I could go on about it, but the fact is I'm finished, and as soon as the transcript office sends my transcript and recommendation to the OCT, I'm a cer-ti-fied teacher. Woot.

Back in Tamworth. My allergies are acting up. Instead of buring gas to go work out, I've got a little gym rigged up in the garage. I curl a bar with a bunch of chains attached. I dunno...some old tractor attachment. It was lying around. I'm Rocky, dammit. One of these days I'll get around to doing some actual work, I suppose.

3 weeks today and I'm off to KL. Excitement is growing. Lots of emails going back and forth from here to KL...if only new jobs in Korea included such correspondence. I need to figure out what to pack. I won't need much...the one strategic sweater. Sunblock. Ties. Tanktops. All worn at the same time.

220 yards....blawwooww!

Food porn

2009-05-21T18:27:00.003-04:00

I find there to be similarities between pornography and cooking shows. Think about it.

This is not just an excuse to post Rachael Ray with a turkey.

Perspective

2009-05-18T19:40:00.004-04:00

This weekend I took and extra day off from my intership (read: more free labour) and gave myself a 4 day weekend. For Americans who may not be familiar with Canadian customs, the 3rd weekend in May is Victoria Day, or May 2-4 (please note the reference to the number of beers in a case), or May Long. Anyway. This weekend rarely, if ever, falls on the 24th of the month (it actually might be impossible), and I have no idea what it has to do with a previous Queen, but it traditionally marks the first weekend of summer, and is celebrated with BBQs, fireworks and, naturally, 2-4s.

I didn't do much of the traditional celebrating, but I did make a journey home to visit the folks (although I will be moving home in 2 weeks for a month) and "celebrated" by moving around a whole lot of dirt, building a chicken coop (I'm moving up in the world from last year) and doing the black fly dance (if you have to ask, take a walk in a rural Ontario backyard sometime soon). I do this kind of thing every so often. Mostly after prolonged periods of academic work, or teaching in Korea. It's good. It gives me time to think. The work grounds me, and I realize the fortune I have to travel the world and return home to plant trees. Apart from the bugs, and the bittersweetness of a farmer's tan, I like getting my hands dirty, the feeling the satisfaction of having been productive and creative with my hands and, perhaps most of all, how good a beer tastes after the day is done.

***

On an unrelated note, I finished Cormac McCarthy's Cities of the Plain, the last of the border trilogy. You'll have to read it (and the 2 that came before) to find out how good it is - I'm not going to tell you.

I like my coffee like I like my women

2009-05-06T20:55:00.004-04:00

Vacuum-packed

Imported

Organic

In a paper cup

Served by a Fine Arts student

Overpriced

With free wi-fi connection

Cold, bitter and weak

Fairly traded

This list was rejected by McSweeney's, but nothing stops me from publishing it (although I kinda get where they are coming from).

Dazed and Confused

2009-04-22T09:57:00.010-04:00

This movie has been on my mind a lot recently. I believe that the film captures something, something not only about youth, but about life. The crux of the film, and my feelings on how it relates to the human condition, (and consequently, why it is so timeless), is that it is about an ending and a beginning. Its not about being paddled on the ass by a young Ben Affleck. It is about those few times in our lives where we live out such artificial ending/beginning situations; high school, as the film explores, and the end of university as two pretty common ones. I also experienced this in my, well, numerous times leaving Korea, and I have been going through this ending/beginning experience of late. There is a conscious effort to say goodbye to certain people, to make far-fetched, good intentioned, hopefully realized plans of seeing each other again, to continue having this person in my life, beyond the realm of facebook - it is a goodbye, but also a see you again.

There is also, let's call it a semi-conscious effort, to not say goodbye to some, understanding that there no continuation of our common narrative. Sometimes this split happens naturally - people walk out of class together in the same ways that hey have always done, go for brunch the next morning with the same group of friends, go to different parties - the lines have always been drawn, but this ending comes with an understanding that our lives will no longer occupy the same orbit. And sometimes it doesn't happen naturally at all.

It would be interesting to map this trajectory of knowing people - I suspect there would be numerous peaks and valleys - for myself anyway. (I am picturing a graph in my head, stretching in 3D over time and place, with lines running thick and thin, color-coded, intertwining, rising, falling - a map of relationships, of my life).

But what makes these endings bearable, to endure the severing of human contact that comes with exiting a place that has become a part of me, is the joy and possibility that I find in the beginnings. The enter a place fresh, to learn not only names and faces but language, foods, smells, customs. To grow and to learn about new places in the world and new parts of myself. The excitement of the exit.

Obviously these things are not so clean cut - a much as I pretend to be stoic about things (and as much as I pull off the stoicism) - there is a genuine sadness in saying goodbye, just as there is a genuine sense of trepidation amid the excitement of the beginning. These emotions are manifested in numerous ways, and although my meta-cognitive skills are getting better, I still need to work out exactly how I do things.

I have some ideas.

I say truths in jest.

I'm intentionally cryptic.

Well, that didn't last long, did it?

2009-02-18T20:06:00.003-05:00

And he's off! (again!)

So, the big news being I'm fucking off again. No, not Korea. I've landed a job in Malaysia teaching at an international school. This wasn't the easiest decision to make, but as jobs for teachers in Toronto, and Ontario as a whole aren't in huge supply right now, I might as well go somewhere I'm wanted. And is warm. And close to places I love to visit.

Taking off in June!

Hungover Sunday with Nancy

2008-11-30T20:05:00.002-05:00

Maybe this blog should be titled, "Sunday with Hungover Nancy" because I, for one, am not hungover. Nancy, on the other hand, as of 8:06pm, still fairly worse for wear. This is one of those days where Ministry of Education policy documents and CV updating are taking a back seat to MuchMusic's GOSSIP GIRL MARATHON. OMG, what have I done? Hours of my life I will never get back, all due to a sympathy hangover (at least I got some pizza out of the deal). At 10, there is some Britney Spears interview that everyone, well, my roommate Victoria anyway, is making a big deal over. I think I've had all the bottle-blond I can handle for one day, so I'll probably give that one a miss.

Better Never Than Late?

2008-11-24T22:32:00.004-05:00

So back in September I went back to school. As a result, I've been way fucking busy. As a more mature, focused student, atoning for the sins of my undergrad, I am actually doing some work this time around, and, shockingly, it takes up a lot of time. Being on the other end of a classroom again is a bit tough, especially because now, after 3.5 years of "teaching" English in a school that is really a business and located outside of Canada, I obviously know everything there is to know about teaching.

I just wrapped up my first month of student teaching, which was an intense, rewarding, frustrating, challenging experience. I taught at an alternative high school; lax attendance, at-risk kids, no-continuity. Highlights included organizing a well-attended coffee house, which was a big-deal at a school with no sense of community and receiving a lot of positive feedback from both students and my associate teacher. Low points: chalk. I fucking HATE chalk. It really sucks.

What else....I am enjoying Toronto. Loads of art around, things are free. I am not enjoying the onset of winter. I am looking forward to the Wayne Shorter Quartet on the 5th, hot jazz at Massey Hall. A proper Thanksgiving for the first time in years, the Saxe/Jouris clans together again. New friends, re-connecting with old friends. The gym is good...getting strong again after a soft summer of beer and golf. Had a bit of an "I miss living in Asia" spell and am pondering another voyage overseas...I hear Dubai is cool. I know Vietnam and Japan are cool. Eastern Europe is appealing. Pondering, assessing, reflecting.

or is it the other way around

Mr. T!

2008-09-16T20:36:00.004-04:00

I haven't written on this thing in a while. But if anyone cared they're not letting me know about it.

Things that have happened... (gasp! It's a listing blog!)

Tore down some more stuff, dug some holes, painted some other stuff.
Saw Radiohead in Montreal.
Didn't get to go to Yankee stadium, but made 500 bucks off the tickets.
Swam in lakes and rivers, golfed in the rain, golfed in the sun, hiked.
Turned 28 (yikes!)
Moved my little cousin into res at Queen's....he's all grownsed up!
Moved to Toronto.
Started school.
Had my place broken into...but they only got my roommates stuff ;)
Uhmmm........

The dreaded adjustment period to living in a Canadian city again has gone well. Pretty much I've been too busy to notice. I still have issues with overhearing and understanding the conversations of others, especially because most people talk about bullshit. I kinda miss the bubble of ignorance that came with living in a country where I didn't speak the language. I guess I could always hang out in Korea Town more often....

Like the previous post about Vikings, this one has nothing at all to do with Mr. T. Sorry.

Canadian Idle

2008-08-01T12:54:00.004-04:00

It has been roughly 2 months since I left Korea. I would be lying if I said that, at times, I didn't miss the place. Mostly I miss the fact that you are never more than 3 minutes from an ATM or 7-11. But other than that, the transition has gone smoothly. I will mostly credit this to having something to do back in Canada. School starts in 5 weeks. Also, the fact that Korea wasn't presenting anything new. I got a little bored. Content, complacent, bored. Sure. It happens.

I went to Cambodia. A lovely, tragic, stimulating country. A cure for my itchy feet and another country crossed off the list of SE Asian destinations. It rained a bit, I got a sunburn, conversed with a German journalist about our solutions (although we pretended not to have any) to the world's problems. Ate too many green curries. Pined for India, the mother of all travel destinations. Shopped in Bangkok. I'm such a jet-setter.

Vancouver for 3 wonderful, hectic days. Family, old friends.

And now back in Tamworth. I destroy chicken coops and haul rocks. Spend too much money on fossil fuels. Again, I haul rocks. Canadian cigarettes are $9.75 a pack. I do chin-ups in the garage. Did I mention the rocks? American visitors, good times. Cribbage championships. I am neglecting communication with too many people, perhaps I am in hiding. Content, slowing things down, getting ready for Toronto.

Peace, eh.

Restaurant Review: Dead Fish, Siem Reap

2008-06-08T11:42:00.005-04:00

concrete buddha at the door
traditional dancing i ignore
cockroach scurries across the floor
interior i abhor

i have a dodgy stomach and ordered a bland noodle soup with tofu

Yeeeeeeehhhhhaaaaawwwwwwwwww!

2008-05-30T08:35:00.003-04:00

I'm done with teaching in Korea. Farewell, old girl, its been a helluva ride.

Memories of Korea: People

2008-05-21T10:02:00.019-04:00

I've decide to nip this series a little short. Ultimately, what has made Korea special and memorable has been the people that I've been and the friendships I've formed. I'm happy to have made friends from all over the (English-speaking) world, and it pains me to know that it will be a long time until I see some of them again.
Here's to you.
xoxo

Memories of Korea: Cheonan & Suwon Olympics

2008-05-09T11:04:00.008-04:00

The Cheonan Olympic movement was born...probably over beer, and lived its life in the same spirit. The original Cheonan IOC, Che and Fidel, scavenged construction sites for rope on the back of a purple motorcycle, creating a spirited (and at times bloody) tournament eventually dominated by team China. The Suwon Olympics were privileged, with sober IOC meetings, 4-wheeled transportation and flashier prizes, although I felt it lacked the guerrilla spirit of the Cheonan Games (although team Durkadurkastan certainly would not have been out of place in Samgeori Park).

Memories of Korea: A Cheonan Christmas

2008-05-07T10:42:00.011-04:00

Because I am counting, and I know that I have but 25 days left in Korea (for real this time) I'm in a nostalgic mood, and thinking back on the place that has been my home for the past 3-odd years (Odd in that is roughly 3 years, and odd in that it has been, at times, odd). I'm planning...a retrospective of shorts, a chronicle of the high points of my times here. First up is the first of several Christmases I spent away from home. The ex-pats of Cheonan gathered in Brooke's apartment to cook a turkey acquired from godknowswhere (actually, I think Jess got it from her sister on base, but I'm not positive), make merry and drink wine straight from the box. There were even kids there.

Here you see a photo of me pretending I wasn't losing my hair, and as unphotogenic as ever.

This is from my 2nd xmas away from home...but that's not Korea now, is it?

Recent Photos

2008-04-30T08:55:00.011-04:00

From the War Museum in Seoul and Hwaseong Fortress in Suwon.

Hey....I've only got a month to go, gotta pack in those cultural excursions.

Randomness

2008-04-24T10:05:00.007-04:00

Since I've finished every possible episode of Dexter, and don't have anything else to watch, I suppose I could blog. I know I could read, but reading is, like, work or something. At least I'll be staring at a screen.

I'm going to be a student again soon. I'll have to sharpen up my procrastination skills. It'll weird to do things that don't directly result in me getting paid.

I frequently untag photos of myself on Facebook. Mostly because I have my eyes closed in most of them. I also ignore most invitations, even the well meaning ones.

I put my keys in my pocket today and then fell down my leg to the floor. Apparently my pocket grew a hole since the last time I wore these jeans.

I have 35 days until the end of my contract. And yes, I am bloody well counting.

Jew jokes aren't funny unless told by Jews. Otherwise, it's like a white rapper saying "nigga."

I would pay probably more money than I should to get my hands on the sign with the guy kicking.

Oh, incongruous Korea.

Shitty Art

2008-04-20T20:14:00.006-04:00

Belgian artist Wim Delvoye's shit-machine.

Signed and packaged final "products" were available for sale via his website, apparently for over 1000 dollars, but are now sold out. If anyone is interested in a reasonable fake, I would do it for half as much. You don't even have to buy me dinner first.
The artist has also produced stained-glass windows out of x-rays of people having sex, and tattooed pigs.

I like Louise.

I suppose there is considerable debate as to whether or not a machine-produced piece of shit is art or not, but in the end he is getting away with it...and gets the last laugh.

Korean Celebrity Sighting

2008-04-14T11:37:00.003-04:00

I saw this guy, with an entourage of significantly less freaky looking guys, out on the streets of Seoul this weekend. There was lots of arm flapping and picture taking.

I didn't have my camera on me, so I just flapped.

Kobe Bryant Can Jump

2008-04-14T09:58:00.001-04:00

Gummy Worms

2008-04-10T08:59:00.005-04:00

Today, after I came back from the gym, my hot water didn't work, so I had to take a very, very cold shower. Work was outstandingly annoying, and then we found out that the bank fucked up and no one got paid, which caused me to cancel my plans for tomorrow morning. Complete winner, this one was.
Then I bought some gummy worms, which made me feel slightly better.

Why don't you do something with your life?

2008-04-03T09:41:00.002-04:00

I have been accepted into the Education program at the University of Toronto. Me gonna me a teacher!

Now I just have to pay for it...

A surreal, if slightly inappropriate, conversation

2008-03-31T09:35:00.004-04:00

Setting: Queen, on homo hill in Itaewon
Cast: Myself, English man in tweed hat, silent, yet grinning Filipino-looking dude

English guy approaches me as I am putting on my jacket, getting ready to leave.

EG: Excuse me, but my friend here (gestering towards grinning Filipino-looking dude) is The Gay.
M: The gay?
EG: No, The Gay. He is The Gay.
FG: (Grins)
M: (Not entirely surprised, considering the setting) Cool.
EG: He says that if you were in prison, he would anally rape you.
M: Excuse me?
EG: He wants to anally rape you. In prison.
M: Uhhhh huh. Well, I'll be careful not to do anything wrong then.
EG: He says that if you were in prison, he would do very bad things to you.
FG: (Grins)
M: He wouldn't ask?
EG: Well, then it wouldn't be anal rape.
M: I guess not....
EG: Thats what he wants you to know.
M: Well, thank you. And I'm glad I'm not in prison.
EG: Yes, but if you ever are...
M: I'll watch out for him.
EG: He is the new face of anal rape.
FG: (Big Grin)
M: Right. (exit)

So that happened....at least someone thinks I'm hot.

And on that note....

Foreigners Who Blog in Korea

2008-03-23T03:11:00.010-04:00

Since I am in Korea, and making a half-assed attempt to blog, I thought that I should dedicate my time to discussion of my peers.

There is a wide variety of these blogs, but I, however, as I am apt to do, will use rather large brushes to paint my analysis. So here are my 4 categories of Foreigners Who Blog in Korea (and you have to guess which one I am): The Newbie, The Politico, The Vet, and The Culturally Immersed. (And yes, I am aware that by creating this blog I am falling victim to the "Listing" tendency of blogs, but if you don't like it, go blog yourself, motherblogger).

The Newbie is, by definition, new. Green behind the ears, wet in other places and pretty much wide-eyed about the whole thing. The newbie, whose blog is generally more for the interest of friends and family at home, blogs of new foods (Chicken feet!), funny signs (that usually aren't that funny, just poorly translated), promises to learn the language, and other superficial cultural observations, such as the ubiquitous couple T-shirt. Throw in a few drinking pictures, pictures and stories about students at school, a story about getting lost on the subway, go on about norebangs, and you pretty much have it sewn up.

Not funny:

The Politico is a somewhat rare breed, but unique enough to demand mention. This blogger may also belong to the "Vet" category, but their interest in foreign (and domestic) Korean politics overshadows their postings about visiting the in-laws in Gimhae or Iksan. To be fair, these blogs are a good source for info on local politics that doesn't make it into the tourist friendly English papers, where only the destruction of a national monument can distract from the usual "articles" about the latest Samsung gadget.

The Vet is usually, but not exclusively, a man between 30 and 50, married to a Korean, and has been in the country a long, long time. The Vet ventures to small, idyllic places in the countryside that no foreigner has heard of (because the Koreans don't want us to spoil it) of, loves his mother in law's dokguk, and has way better Korean skills than you or I.

And lastly, the culturally immersed. This blogger may be a Vet, but is generally trying way harder, and thus more likely to be a newbie. They will be photographed in traditional dress at imperial palaces, their weekend agenda consists of a performance of traditional music, followed by a cooking class. They study the language properly (I learned how to ask "do you have a boyfriend?" before I learned "where is the toilet?") and have lots of Korean friends.

There you have it. I hope this has been informative, and not entirely offensive. Actually, I don't hope either of those things. Please direct your generalized comments to the appropriate comment place.

Funny:

I stole those images from facebook. But facebook has your soul.

Remembering Jodhpur

2008-03-22T10:59:00.010-04:00

The Blue City of Rajasthan. At first the blue houses were only for the Brahmins; then the lower castes caught on, drawn to the colour's apparent ability to both cool and drive away mosquitoes. Then it became beautiful.

All photos were taken without leaving the balcony of my hotel room.